Too Much Stock In Wharton

A. One, and that's me, and it's going on my resume. · "Hear ye, hear ye. All students in the College of Arts and Sciences, thou art shit! Your studies are too liberal. The classes you are taking are not providing you with marketable skills. You will not find a job when you graduate college." Yes, fellow College students, this is what Wharton students are saying about us. Even if they don't say it, believe you me, they're thinking it. But don't limit this attitude just to students, because the instructors in Wharton are thinking it too. I've even got friends in Wharton who seem pretty convinced that I'll be begging them for a job a few years down the road. Fortunately, they have already offered me custodial positions. I'm quite grateful. The bottom line is that Whartonites have no respect for the College. Sure, they take classes in the College, but that's because they have no choice. The liberal arts requirement is a pain in their tight asses. A Wharton student's vocabulary contains the word "merger," but not the words "piano concerto." They know Trump, but not Picasso. Wharton students also think that the prestige of this university is seeded in their school. When Wharton students are asked where they go to school, the response is usually, "I go to the Wharton School," not "I go to the University of Pennsylvania." The University of Pennsylvania is another school, in another world. Hell, it's probably not even a member of the Ivy League. I think it's about time for Wharton students to have their attitudes adjusted. It's time for them to come down from their high horses. They need to see the light, the value of liberal arts. On behalf of all students in the College, I'm going to provide some information that will hopefully help cure Wharton students of their econ-o-centricism. First, the prestige of this school can be attributed as much to the College, if not more, than to Wharton. Of the many people who research and rank colleges, one of the most respected is Dr. Jack Gourman. In his book, entitled The Gourman Report, he ranks colleges according to individual departments. What follows is a list of some liberal arts departments at Penn and their respective rankings, as per Gourman's study: American Studies, 2nd. Anthropology, 4th. Arabic, 3rd. Asian Studies, 5th. Chinese, 4th. Communications, 3rd. Comparative Literature, 5th. Economics, 8th. French, 8th. Hebrew, 3rd. Japanese, 3rd. Linguistics, 7th. Near/Middle Eastern Studies, 3rd. Psychology, 3rd. Russian, 4th. Scandinavian, 7th. Urban Studies, 1st. In addition to the preceding College departments, other highly ranked programs are: Astrophysics, 9th; Bioengineering, 2nd; Biophysics, 9th; and Nursing, 3rd. I know all you Wharton students just skimmed the paragraphs above, so go back and read them again. When you're done, try and tell me that this school's prestige lies only in the Wharton School. Several Wharton students have also bragged to me that it is much harder to get into Wharton than the College. Being the skeptic that I am, I decided to call the Admissions Office to verify this alleged statistic. Naturally, the admissions administration refused to disclose a thing. So as far as the student body is concerned, there is no proof of this Wharton brag. Despite all the Wharton bashing, they deserve some credit. The Wharton School has added a language requirement, implemented with this year's freshman class. Maybe a couple of semesters of foreign language will humanize the scoundrels. But it is a long shot. Students of the College, it is up to us. We are the only salvation left for Wharton students. We must teach them respect for the liberal arts. Curt Soloff is a sophomore Communications major from Overland Park, Kansas. Who's The Weasel Now? appears alternate Wednesdays.

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