Column: Solid Gold Saturday Night Fun

Take a look around. More guys are sporting sideburns, some of them quite sizable. The house music you hear at parties is merely disco incognito. We can't hide from the truth any longer. The '70s are back. We, the children of the '70s are the new trend setters for the '90s. Like the yuppies before us with their fake '60s paraphernalia, it's now our turn to regurgitate all those cultural icons we absorbed by watching all those episodes of Three's Company. Let's help this revival along. Get your booty on the dance floor and shake that groove thing. If there's going to be a comeback, we should go all out. To bring back the memories of your youth, here is a list of steps you can take. Music What better place to start than your music library? Go through your old records and retrieve all those Barry Manilow albums you never had the heart to throw out. And how could a '90s party be complete without timeless classics like YMCA and Celebration? To really get in the mood, though, you should look for some of these songs as well: The Trammps' Disco Inferno, Chic's Le Freak and Wild Cherry's Play That Funky Music, plus anything by the Bee Gees (the soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever is a good beginning). If you can't find your old records or if you no longer own a record player (having replaced it with a compact disc player), have no fear. Many of these tunes can be found on groovy compact disc compilations. I just picked up a great one myself, the original soundtrack for the film The Spirit of '76. I also recommend Joel Whitburn's The Billboard Book of Top 40 Hits. This book is your seventies bible. It lists every song and every musical artist that has been charted on Billboard's Top 40 and includes a year-by-year breakdown of all number one songs (there was certainly no shortage of disco songs to hit number one). Before making your disco music purchase, consult the book, paying special attention to the years 1975-1980. Clothing You may need to check with mom and dad on this one. Chances are they've got all the necessary apparel stashed in a closet somewhere. First, you'll need some bell bottoms, but that goes without saying. If you're fortunate enough to have a choice of color, go with something in kelly green. If you can't come by any bell bottoms, stretch pants will do the trick. To complement the pants, the men will need a button down shirt with a really wide collar (the tips must touch the shoulders). For the ladies, a rainbow-colored, sequined halter top is ideal. Next, hunt down a pair of those long lost dynamos, the elevator shoes. You know, the ones with the soles that are about six inches thick. As a final touch, any place you can think of to wear leather on your body is a good place. And if you're planning a hot night of dancing on the town (a la John Travolta, no doubt), you're all but obliged to don a white suit and throw plenty of gold chains around your neck. Facial Hair As mentioned before, the return of sideburns has already begun. But a token, down-to-the-bottom-of-the-ear sideburn just won't cut it. Go for broke. Be like DP editor Peter Spiegel, grow yourself a nice pair o' mutton chops. If you're not gutsy enough to grow the gargantuan sideburns, you might consider a classy, manicured goatee, or even a fu-manchu. Curt Soloff is a sophomore Communications major from Overland Park, Kansas. Who's The Weasel Now appears alternate Wednesdays.

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