Eric Obenzinger
Recent articles
Eric Obenzinger | Protecting our identities
Keeping student Social Security Numbers on file and using them for recruiting increases the risk of fraud.
Eric Obenzinger: Moving on to a metropolitan area
By ERIC OBENZINGER - Guest Columnist Quaker Shaker, my column in The Daily Pennsylvanian, has come far this year. I wasn't quite sure what its legacy would be until you all named "Quaker Shaker" the best nickname for Penn's mascot in 34th Street's "Best of Penn" issue.
Alleged rape at Duke has been overblown by the media
The Duke University campus has become a stomping ground since allegations of a rape emerged several weeks ago. On one front are the media, which have spent the past few weeks "standing on campus - until one tiny piece of news comes out. - It doesn't change anything," Duke senior Christian Kunkel said.
Senioritis strains abound
I am a junior with too many friends who are graduating. Thus, I have become infected with second-hand senioritis. I work less, drink more, update my resume every week and go to Greek Lady every day to savor the "memories" of my beloved Italian hoagie. For the next month, college senioritis will be epidemic.
A professor's cheat sheet
Professors are inconsistent. If you are lucky, you have professors who make appropriate use of Web resources, assemble a reasonable reading list and are open to feedback. If you are me, your professors are unable use computers, assign entire books to be read in a two-day period, don't accept constructive criticism, struggle with their English and hate redheads like me.
Ditching the Internet addiction
This spring slump hit me hard. No matter how much I have tried to work, my attention span has disappeared faster than a Tabard lunch box. However, I have found the solution to the massive procrastination outbreak that peaks on campus around now: Stop doing stupid things on the Internet.
Fostering a good reaction
Moses, wielding the Ten Commandments and a bulldozer, is plowing over Palestine. Alicia and I chose Moses because he is a prophet similar to Muhammad. Both brought laws to their people, and both are highly revered. Our message is simple: Provocative statements are a cornerstone of free speech.
English skills vital for classroom
Some recitations are doomed to fail. Too often, it is because the teaching assistant barely speaks English. Penn has a distinct international flavor. If you're not from New Jersey or Long Island, there is a good chance that you are from halfway across the world.
18 should be the new 21
This campus is brimming with hippies. Don't let the designer handbags and gaudy Greek rush events fool you. This campus is full of rabble-rousing, free-spirited law breakers willing to face-down the man. In fact, most of us are part of one of the nation's largest civil-disobedience movements.
Israel needs new campus debate
He wanted us to make Jewish babies. I saw Ariel Sharon speak in June of 2004, at an assembly of people participating in the birthright Israel program, which gives free tours of Israel to young Jews. After a psychedelic drum show, we were surprised to see an enormous man walk onto the stage surrounded by four bodyguards.
Looking out for Penn's image
"Okay, so I am going to send one AP score report to Penn State, University Park Campus," the official from the College Board said last week. "No. Philadelphia. I go to the University of Pennsylvania. It's in Philadelphia." There was an awkward pause on the other end of the phone.
A transcript mulligan
You suck. It's OK, you can admit it. I suck too. We all suck at something. Unfortunately, the current set of College requirements doesn't let us forget it. One of my worst areas of suckitude is learning languages. In high school, I took French with all the other arrogant kids who didn't want to learn Spanish.
The procrastination wars
During my freshman year, I spent hours killing people while listening to t.A.T.u and Dr. John. It wasn't exactly the best killing music, but it helped me stay focused. If I were still doing it now, I would probably listen to Coldplay. I was a bit of a hermit in my freshman year of college.
Getting along, the American way
Go to DuBois College House. Why? Let's start out with some facts. I'm white. Check out my picture. It's true! While Americans legitimately celebrate the diversity of our nation, the fact remains that about 75 percent of this country is Caucasian. To state the obvious: The majority of us spend the majority of our time being in the majority.
The grass is not always greener
I am a dirty, lowly transfer student. Last fall, I arrived at Penn after spending my freshman year at Colgate University in Hamilton, N.Y. Colgate is one of those places where "it's always winter, but never Christmas." After a year at Penn, there aren't too many things that I miss from my time at Colgate.
Finding a mate in a bubble
You need a date. Trust me. Unless you're one of the Orthodox Jews or Southern Baptists who came to Penn with their spouse, you've probably felt a bit lonely at some point. My normal solution to loneliness is to go to the Greek Lady and eat cheesesteaks until my heart rate plunges and I fall asleep.
Eyesores on the tour
Do tour guides exaggerate? Do some even lie? An investigation by The Daily Pennsylvanian last week brought up questions about tour guide honesty. As an Admissions Office ambassador, I wake up early every Sunday morning to meet with prospective students and tag along on tours as an extra person for them to talk to.
Fitting the curve
'Honey? Do my As look fat to you?" My transcript wiggled from side to side as she asked me the question that every guy dreads. "Not at all, transcript! You were at the library and Pottruck last semester working hard on those As. They look fine on you." I wasn't lying.
Yearning to breathe free
I am 20 years old and I have never done it before. I'm not ashamed of this. In fact, I am proud that I've resisted the temptation of so many people around me. I almost did it once by accident. While with a girl in an abandoned building this past summer, I failed to notice what she was doing with her hands.
The party spin cycle
In general, frat parties are pretty boring. Unfortunately, for a lot of Penn's campus, "going out" often means cycling through a routine that depends on frats. First, you have to find people to go out with. Then all you girls have to dress up in a new and unique way, while guys have to hop into a set of freshly washed pink prison garb.
