I get that you are trying to make a point but “less than 5% are reported” means its actually happening at least 20x the reported rate. The reported rate being 0.2 rapes per woman means the numbers say at least 4 rapes per woman are actually happening. That seems a bit high.

The legal precedent for sexual consent in Pennsylvania was set for good reason. Well-mannered students of my generation, when choosing to engage in premarital sex, would explicitly seek permission from a partner before engaging in intercourse. These days it would not be unreasonable to demonstrate consent via “text” on a cell phone. It’s certainly not a difficult step to take, and could speak volumes for liability in court. Please, young people, ask every time.

Well done Ms. Pardes. I am always glad to see sex positive articles.

This whole “drunk sex is rape” line of thought that you present at the beginning of this piece is a lot more dangerous than I think you realize. First of all, that would imply that any girl having sex while drunk has been raped. Party or no party, the consent issue is tied with her being intoxicated. It would also imply, if the man were equally drunk, that he has also been raped. If the woman is less drunk, she is the rapist. If they are both extremely wasted, they are both simultaneously rapists and rapees. This makes absolutely no sense.
If someone is passed out and someone takes advantage of them, yes, that is a line that has been drawn in the sand. But people have sex drunk every day and to call every one of those acts rape is incredibly dangerous—and leads to a lot of the often misplaced speculation around rape accusations. There needs to be a sense of responsibility on all parties when it comes to getting drunk and socializing, as this can become such a delicate issue. Can you imagine if two people are at a party having fun, and go back to one of their apartments and have a night of drunken, fun, sloppy sex—that they both wanted at the time and vocalized as such—and the next morning the girl reads this article? Imagine if now she believes she has been raped, and brings an accusation against the man. Imagine how incredibly unfair that is, and how much danger that presents for him. Imagine how just the public accusation could destroy his life and reputation. Imagine how little recourse he would have. Imagine the repercussions.
And what of the man? As I stated before—is he somehow capable of consent and she is not, even if they both agree? What does that say about a woman’s faculties, what is expected of her as an adult, or what responsibility they are both expected to hold? Is a woman somehow less capable of judgment or of yes and no? How is that not, to some degree, infantilizing a woman and demonstrating that she is, in some capacity, less than a man? This is, frankly, a blanket statement that is dangerous, and anyone who holds this opinion should think very clearly about the kind of thinking and action they are putting out into the world.

To respond to the last post:

1. The idea that someone who is intoxicated by alcohol cannot give consent is the view of Pennsylvania Law. The author did not invent this idea, she is citing a law that has been on the books for quite some time. Of course, if two people have sex and are both drunk, then can a “rape accusation” really be made? Maybe not. But the point is that if someone feels like they were taken advantage of in a time when they were incapable of giving consent (due to inebriation) then they can legally make that claim.

2. The author laid out the idea of “enthusiastic consent,” or “yes means yes,” to account for the situation in which you just described: the situation in which two people are really excited to be engaging in sex together. So in the scenario you provided, where two people are having a great night of “drunken, fun, sloppy sex—that they both wanted at the time and vocalized as such,” is indeed an example of enthusiastic consent. They both vocalized “yes.” And don’t you remember what “yes” means? It means “yes.”

3. Both people in a sexual scenario need to give consent, not just women. At no point in this article did the author suggest that only women are victims of the consent issue—it affects all people. So your last point doesn’t make much sense, since there was nothing in this article to suggest that anyone is being “infantalized” or that women are somehow less mentally capable than men.

4. Although you make the claim that this article is a “dangerous” blanket statement, I think the point you are trying to make undermines the incredibly dangerous and pervasive issue of rape. DATE RAPE IS REAL RAPE. (See daterapeisrealrape.com for more information.) For you to say that the idea that consent needs to be expressed clearly and enthusiastically is somehow dangerous undermines all of the situations where people do not give clear consent and are taken advantage of for it. Before you criticize a piece that very smartly discusses the concept of consent, think about all of the people who are affected by sexual violence, rape, and nonconsensual sex. Don’t undermine their situations.

Yes means yes.

Here’s an interesting video from last year regarding consent debates. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ONkpajebK8&list=UUZuzhTcxpJZ1VEJ5s9H9MdA&index=144&feature=plcp

I do not think that there is any one in this world who can condone rape or any type of sexual violence. However Ms. Pardes should not put the blame exclusively on men. If women dress like slut and then get sexually assaulted, then both the perpetrator and the victim should be blamed. Of course the perpetrator must be castrated but the women should also not go Scot free.

“If women dress like slut and then get sexually assaulted, then both the perpetrator and the victim should be blamed.”

No, they shouldn’t. The victim is just that – the VICTIM. As one monologue from “The Vagina Monologues” says, “My short skirt is not an invitation.” And by suggesting that it is, you are, in fact, condoning rape and sexual violence. It’s called rape culture. Educate yourself about your part in perpetuating it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Ms. Pardes for this eloquent piece. It is one of the most mature and well-written articles I’ve read in the DP in recent memory.

No you are wrong. I respect women and I support the strongest possible punishment for rapists/molesters. However if you wear a short skirt and get drunk then you should also be blamed even if you get assaulted or not. I am sorry but women cannot have it both way. Call me old fashioned, but I have no sympathy for drunk Penn girls wearing the shortest possible skirt and then getting molested an at a frat party. I do not support the binge drinking culture at the frat houses and neither do I sympathize with these “victims”

The clothes I choose to wear have real effects on people’s opinion of me. We all know this. It’s why we choose to dress differently when we hang out with our grandmothers than when we go to bars. Yes, if I’m wearing a mini skirt and heels I am aware that I am signalling something different to men than if I’m in sweatpants. And I’m prepared for more men to approach me and hit on me as a result of my outfit. However, at no point does this give you the right to rape me and I don’t know how you can make that argument. No matter what I’m wearing I have a say in how I react to your advances. Dressing proactively may signal something at a bar but it does not signal my consent.

No one has a right to rape or sexually assault anyone. Let us make this clear. However wearing a mini skirt and heels in the bar and expecting men to hit on you is not something very noble or ladylike. If you will dress like slut then cheap men would treat you like slut. Simple. The only solution is to castrate the rapists and give lectures on morality to the girl.

This article claims that if “you” have “sloppy drunken” sex, the “law books” say “you” were raped.

Has this statement been fact checked? A plain reading of the PA. rape statute would suggest that the claim is very much false.

Title 18 (“Crimes and Offenses”) Sec. 3121 (“Rape”) of PA. Consolidated Statutes reads in relevant part:

“(a) Offense defined.—A person commits a felony of the first degree when the person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant:
(1) By forcible compulsion.
(2) By threat of forcible compulsion that would prevent resistance by a person of reasonable resolution.
(3) Who is unconscious or where the person knows that the complainant is unaware that the sexual intercourse is occurring.
(4) Where the person has substantially impaired the complainant’s power to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering or employing, without the knowledge of the complainant, drugs, intoxicants or other means for the purpose of preventing resistance.
(5) Who suffers from a mental disability which renders the complainant incapable of consent.”

Keep in mind that in court, any ambiguity in criminal statutes are interpreted in the light most favorably to the defendant.

It would seem here that PA has specifically and explicitly addressed the issue of intoxicated complainants in its rape statue: absent force, threat of force, unconsciousness, or “mental disability”, sex with an intoxicated person only meets the elements of rape only if that person was intoxicated by the accused, and without their knowledge, and the purpose of intoxicating them was to prevent resistance (all of which must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt).

In other words, it would seem that under the PA statute, it is not rape for a severely compromised person to have sex (absent force, unconsciousness, threats, other mental disability, etc) if they intoxicated themselves or became knowingly intoxicated by another.

I doubt very much that intoxication is automatically a “mental disability” since it is listed separately in the same statute, and again, any ambiguity is going to be legally interpreted in the way that most narrows a statutes reach.

And for what its worth, a careful reading of the statute would show that in PA, sex without consent but also without force (or the other factors) is actually not even legally rape, even though it would meet perhaps most people’s definition of the term “rape.” Sex without consent absent the other elements listed above is actually termed “sexual assault”, a lesser felony, in PA statutes.

I am not in anyway endorsing the law in Pennsylvania but I think it is probably being misrepresented.

The above does not constitute legal advice, was not intended to be legal advice, and must not be relied on legally.

This article implies that only men are capable of rape and women are always the victim.

A “bit” biased, no?

Also, if I may comment on the topic of “dressing/acting like a slut”:

Plenty of times I’ve been to parties where promiscuously dressed girls/women intentionally bend over to “pick something up” so a guy can see her butt, or she will pull down her shirt/blouse to flash her breasts in order to “tease” or “flirt” with a guy.

Of course there is never an excuse to rape, but to behave this way and then cry “victim!” is akin to playing with fire and crying about how you burned your finger.

It really comes down to common sense. If you walk alone in the back alleys of Camden in the middle of the night, the chances of you getting mugged are pretty good. Of course the perpetrator has no right to mug you either way, but why would any rational person is a good idea?

Again, I’ll reiterate that rape is wrong. But everyone should exercise some common sense. You would think someone “smart” enough to go to Penn should know that.

First of all, states like Pennsylvania SERIOUSLY need to rethink their horribly written rape laws. However, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the law implies that intoxication means you cannot give consent.

Also, this is the University of Pennsylvania’s policy on rape:

“Assent shall not constitute consent if it is given by a person who because of youth, mental disability or intoxication is unable to make a reasonable judgment concerning the nature of or harmfulness of the activity.”

So even if, by the strictest reading of the state law, you want to say that someone who is drunk is still able to give consent in Pennsylvania, that’s not the case at Penn.

So…in terms of dressing/acting like a slut-i think it’s interesting that so many guys on here are concentrated on that and claiming this is a common sense issue. clearly you have no idea what it’s like to be a woman.

First, you have to understand what the point of rape is. It’s about power. It’s not even necessarily about some guy who got sexually aroused by a girl in a mini skirt but she said no to having sex with him but he raped her anyway. That’s just half the story. Men are going to rape women regardless of what they’re wearing at the time. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT. Men will do and say whatever they want to women regardless of their wardrobe. I get honked at and lewdly hit on while wearing baggy jeans and hoodies and walking down the street…did i ask to be sexually harassed like that? Did my hoodie say “come and get it?”

no. so where’s the logic in your argument? I honestly think all the naysayers on here would feel a ton differently if a close loved one or themselves were put in that position. You’re not a woman. Stop trying to act like you know what it’s like to be a woman.

When I was raped, I was wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt and I was sober. This doesn’t affect the fact that I did not want to have sex with my attacker. Like most people who have been raped, I’d known him for a while, and knew I did not want to have sex with him. If he’d caught me when I was drunk or dressed in a skirt, I still would not have wanted to have sex with him. I do not think being raped by my attacker would have been an appropriate consequence of drinking alcohol or dressing up.

Stop raping people, stop encouraging people to rape people, stop telling people they deserve to be raped, stop claiming rape isn’t rape. You sound like children.

Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.

im assuming you are a woman. what makes you think you know what is going through a rapists head? you are the hypothetical victim, so where do come off saying what the perpetrator is thinking. wouldnt a man’s opinion (the hypothetical perpetrator) have a better understanding of what a rapist wants? im tired of hearing that “rape is all about power” from women. has there been a poll conducted on rapists that im not aware of? am i the only one who thinks that rape has something to do with the attractiveness of a woman? sure there have been women that have been raped in baggy sweatpants and without makeup on. however, when it comes down to random rapes where the victim does not know the rapist the fact of the matter is that revealing clothes will make you a much more likely target. personally, I believe that women who claim that rape has nothing to do with what the victim wears say this only because they want the freedom to wear what they want and don’t want to feel blamed for being victims. I feel I should be able to leave my car unlocked every night, but in reality I know that locking my door is a precaution i should take to lessen the chances of my car being stolen.

My vagina isn’t a car. A more appropriate comparison would ask whether you ought to be blamed if a delivery person walks into your house and stabs you and takes your stuff. Is it your fault for answering the door? Were you making yourself a target by having a nice-looking house? Will having your home violently invaded teach you to be more careful in the future?

Thank you, Joe Montana, for pointing out the ridiculous nature of our woman-blaming rape culture. SC, CR, and Re: SC, I appreciate your common sense and insight. And to the men and women out there who honestly subscribe to rape culture, I do honestly hope that you will soon be enlightened.

And for @SC: Sure, attractiveness has something to do with the sexual desire one may feel for another. But only a power complex and presumption of superiority can lead to someone claiming that it is his (or her) prerogative to completely ignore the will of another human being. Rape is not desire. It’s not a fantasy. It’s not a porn category. It’s a crime and an outrage, and if you can’t see that, then I honestly feel sorry for you.

Last year I saw a protest at City Hall called Slut Walk where women dressed provocatively and carried signs with slogans like “this is not an invitation to rape me.” Some cops were watching the proceedings, and one turned to another and asked “why are they all dressed like that? What’s the point?” The other cop said “the point is that if she doesn’t want to do it, it doesn’t matter how she’s dressed. A grown man knows how to control himself, and if he does it to someone who doesn’t want it, that’s his call. He can’t blame clothes for what he did.”

Men need to expect each other not to be cowards about rape, not to make pathetic excuses for these pathetic rapists, and not to gang up against women. Rape makes us look like a bunch of bastards, and it’s our fault if we put up with these despicable people and let it keep happening.

i’m with ‘A Penn Alum” : i think the sentiments of this article & a lot of these comments are well-meaning, but often I feel like the way anti-rape issues are be marketed today is problematic, because it tends to perpetuate a patriarchal and hetero-normative balance of power, which imo both contribute to any rape culture that might exist.
We talk about ’1 in 5 women’ who are raped, but what about males who are raped, and isn’t it more important that these women are individuals in our society than that they are female? OFSA literally holds seminars where it tells frat boys not to rape women, but of course non-consensual sex can be the fault of the female or could occur in homosexual relationships as well. Also, more important than knowing that, among all the nice men in the world, there are some creepy rapists that lurk in dark corners forcing themselves on 20% of 50% of our population, the main agenda should be to make people more familiar with recognizing and voicing true consent, and to promote a culture of sexual equality. it helps no women to perpetuate a view that they are victims at the mercy of others around them, which, barring acts of violence, is not the case.
In reality, there are 2 kinds of rape – rape which is violence, the victim literally being held down. The other type is a grey area – where the victim feels pressured socially and unwillingly does nothing to stop sex from happening. This is equally unacceptable, but a significantly different situation. Unfortunately, many females base their sexual behavior on the social image they want to portray more than what they personally prefer, which might lead them to become comfortable with the idea that the sexual experiences they end up in are determined more by the social situation they are in, instead of determined by the woman herself. Individuals that feel empowered from the start are less likely to remain with partners who try to impose their will in other ways, and are therefore less likely to be in situations where they might be raped.
Rape is not simply a ‘womens issue’ but a problem that plagues our entire society. Women are not children. If 2 people wake up after a drunken one-night stand,and neither remember the night, and 1 wishes it had not happened is that rape, or simply the consequences of a hook-up culture that males and females are equally responsible for creating? I am not sure, but I do strongly feel that fighting sexual violence should emphasize sexual equality more than sexual inequality. Not because it is the weaker person’s fault if he or she is raped, but because if we are to drive rape from our society, everyone needs to feel empowered to do their part.

Funny you should mention it, penn senior. With 10% of the US population incarcerated, most of them male, and with the deplorable conditions of US prisons, rapes in prison make up a very real part of the fabric of rape culture in the US.

Depending on who you believe, the US actually might be the first country ever to have more men than women raped in a single year. Read this: http://nplusonemag.com/raise-the-crime-rate

Rape is used as a disciplinary measure, as a weapon of war, as a recreational activity and, yes, as a means of exerting power. But all this variation does nothing to excuse male rapists of women, nor the people who encourage and excuse them. Tell your friends not to rape. Kill them if they do.

So you think rape is wrong, but you condone murder? Get lost you stupid child.

There is so much nonsense in this article that I was afraid of having to devote an hour to refute it, but I’ll leave it at two points.

“Were you raped?

“The law books say yes. In Pennsylvania, you can’t legally give consent to sex while rendered mentally incapacitated by alcohol or drugs. Nor can you give consent while under coercion, while unconscious, while asleep, while under the age of 16 or without completely voluntary agreement to get it on. Yet people who dress provocatively, go out to drink or simply don’t say ‘no’ are still assumed to be asking for it.”

You were talking about situation in which both parties were drunk, and thus were both incapacitated. Therefore, the man was also unable to give consent. If the law exists as a weapon against men, it is unconstitutional, in violating the 14th Amendment.

“One-fifth of women on college campuses are raped during their college careers.”

That is a bald-faced lie. Campus rape of coeds is almost non-existent.