If there's one thing that Ivy League schools pride themselves on, it's tradition.

Considering seven of the eight schools are some of the oldest in America (sorry Cornell, but you guys just don't count), these ivory towers are steeped in ritual.

Whether it's Dartmouth's stupid form of beer pong, Harvard's Primal Scream or Cornell's low academic standards, if there's one thing the future I-Bankers and politicians of America take pride in, it's pointless, vestigial customs.

Thus, it saddened me deeply when I discovered that the sports editors at The Daily Princetonian had completely forgotten about our tradition of swapping columns before the first Penn-Princeton basketball game. So sorry folks if you expected some witty-banter whining from our Jerseyite friends.

But then again, what could be more apt than a Princeton tradition hitting rock bottom?

OK I'll admit it, Princeton. Maybe you've bounced back from rock bottom. I mean, you had an impressive win over Cornell.

It was a great win. It was Cornell's first Ivy loss in 20 games. It's something you all should be really proud of.

But that's not the only success you guys had this year, remember? Sweeping the menacing combination of Harvard and Dartmouth that first Ivy weekend was also great. In fact, you guys started off 4-0 in Ivy play. Wow, that's really awesome considering the last time you did that was 2004 (Penn's only done that twice since then).

You should be so proud of all that because it really did look like things were improving for the institution formerly known as the College of New Jersey.

But you know what? You followed it up with losses to Brown and Yale. The same two teams that we swept. The same teams that are a combined 5-11 in the Ivy League, with two of those wins being Yale over Brown.

Ouch.

But is this really that surprising? I mean, you did lose to Division III Carnegie Mellon three years ago. And that same year you scored just 21 points against Monmouth. And of course in each of the last two years you've come in last in the league. Plus, you still have one of the ugliest stadiums in the league - I like to call Jadwin "Space Mountain."

Oh and Bill Bradley is fat.

So let's face it, you have a lot to be embarrassed about.

I mean, most of you probably think Old Nassau is the offshore bank that your parents use to evade paying their taxes.

Maybe in the end you guys made the right decision to not write a column, because let's face it, what would you have to say?

Zach Klitzman is a junior History major from Bethesda, Md., and is Sports Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian. His e-mail address is klitzman@dailypennsylvanian.com