The Daily Pennsylvanian :: David Kanter | Thinking before we speak

In my ninth grade sex-ed class Ms. Dorado one day tried to explain that the use of the word "gay" as a pejorative could be quite offensive.

"No, no Ms. Dorado," retorted a classmate of mine. "We don't use it to offend anyone. We just use it to say that something is stupid."

As naive as my young classmate might've seemed, I have to admit that many of my classmates here at Penn can be just as insensitive. On a regular basis, I hear "gay" used as a synonym for stupid or as a "playful" insult to impugn a male student's masculinity.

If you ardently oppose the legitimacy of any sexual identity other than heterosexuality, you can stop reading now. Nothing I say here will change your mind. But for those of you who from time to time tend to dabble in a little "casual homophobia" without intending malice, perhaps next time you should think before you speak.

College senior Phil Shecter, co-chairman of the Queer Student Alliance, equated the negative use of the word "gay" to the derogatory use of the words "Jewish" and "black." Most people,

especially on our campus, quite rightfully take the initiative to squelch anti-Semitism and racial insensitivity. Yet more often than not, casual homophobia is tacitly accepted.

"Allies of the LGBT community need to explain to people that that's not the right use of the word 'gay,'" Shecter told me.

College sophomore Alec Webley, vice-chairman for political affairs of the Lambda Alliance, told me that casual homophobia doesn't offend him because offense isn't intended.

"You tend to find that when you do correct people, they tend to be quite taken aback," he told me. "Nine times out of 10 they'll say, 'Oh, I'm sorry.'"

Webley wishes to see the negative connotation of "gay" disappear, yet doesn't want to live in a society in which he has to "line you up against the wall and shoot you with my gun of political correctness."

"Attacking the fear underlying the word is far more effective than just attacking the word," he said. "That's far more productive than saying, 'Oh my god! He said gay, he's a homophobe.'"

Webley's right. Proactively combating the fear underlying the word is more important than battling mere semantics.

But each of us can play a role in stifling homophobic sentiment by becoming more conscious of the way we us our words. I can't tell you not to use the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid," but just be aware that when you do, you might inadvertently offend those who can hear you.

Now, I'm well aware that there are homosexuals who don't take issue with the pejorative use of the word "gay." Perhaps you'll then argue that I'm making something out of nothing, an issue out of a non-issue.

I don't claim, however, to be speaking on behalf of the gay "community." I'm speaking for anyone who has ever felt out of place and unwelcome.

Each and every one us, at one point or another, has been in the minority. We've heard a snide comment about our race or our religion, our size or our looks.

As a straight white guy from Cape Cod, I had a pretty easy time growing up, but I've been in a group of friends back home when someone makes an insensitive comment about Jews, not realizing I am of Jewish heritage.

I don't mean to say by this that I can relate to living life as a member of a stigmatized minority.

I certainly can't.

But I can at least recognize what it feels like to be an outsider, even if for just an instant. And if you think about it, you probably can too.

So the next time you want to call your buddy "gay" among a group of friends, think twice about what you're saying. You just might make one of your other friends in that group feel a bit out of place.

David Kanter is a College sophomore from East Falmouth, Mass. His e-mail is kanter@dailypennsylvanian.com. David vs. Goliath appears on Wednesdays.

Comments (8)

lol, faggot.

You tackled this well for your position as a columnist dealing with what most of the world thinks of as either too petty a conversation or not even a worthy conversation at all (see Iran's treatment of homosexuals). You certainly took a good, safe, and useful position here to make us think about the negative generalizations within our vernacular. However, it's not nearly forceful enough. This should be used as a starting point for some more discussions and articles published by the DP on the topic, by people who actually are part of a heavily stigmatized minority and whose opinions can really cause a stir.

David, I suspect that you have touched another male's member and deep down you struggle with your own homosexuality. I would recommend that you just come to terms with the fact that you like to bump uglies with other men.

As a gay man, I must state that this issue is absurd and makes the LGBT society look bad, by encouraging people to think we're close-minded extremists who care about stupid shit that doesn't matter for anything. If you think that we need to eliminate the use of the word "gay" as it is used pejoratively in colloquial language, you seriously are just wasting the time of a great many people who perhaps honestly desire to make the world a better place. No, changing this aspect of language is not just the first step in the process. It's not a step towards anything at all. It is vain and distracting. You only care because doing so makes you feel superior to other people, as if you have sincerely thought about the moral implications whereas others haven't. This is seriously just another case of a privileged white person deciding that he feels offended by something, hell - anything, just to feel conscientious. Someone should really keep a tally running this school year to count how many times a DP columnist acts out a "stuff white people like" stereotype.

The sooner you face facts about your own sexual identity crisis, David, the better. I've seen you grope other guys while drunk and stare longingly into their eyes for some sign of reciprocation that will never happen. I can say on behalf of all of us that it's time you manned up and admit that you love penis. Sure, we'll probably all abandon our friendships with you now we know all the sick perverted things you like to do with other guys naked, but at least we won't have to suffer through your cries for help spilling over into the newspaper.

Mwahahahaha. I love the fact that whenever an EDUCATED, enlightened straight man has the BALLS to talk about tolerance and respect for others (gasp!), the uneducated sub-human garbage homophobes (the frat-boy type) gets their panties all in a bunch and quickly accuse him of being gay. Sooooo predictable! The typical homophobe (such as Richard Cranium) gets smacked very fast in a college classroom, so they have to post their garbage here. Truth is: the overwhelming MAJORITY of the EDUCATED people of society (from legal scholars to social scientists) not only find nothing wrong with homosexuality, but also support gay marriage. Clearly there's a negative correlation between stupidity and homophobia: the more stupid/dumber you are, the more anti-gay you'll likely be. eh, NEXT! p.s. Funny story. A couple of us guys kicked the shyt out of a poor phobe who wanted to start trouble at a gay club several months ago...if it weren't for security, we woulda smacked its ugly face to a pulp! What was even funnier was his equally w_ssy-p_ssy friend just STOOD THERE watching his buddy get his arse whooped. ROTFL. We had a blast!