The Daily Pennsylvanian :: Jim Saksa | Down with the Ivy League

About once a week, I hear the same complaint about our dear University: no one has ever heard of it.

We form facebook groups proclaiming our inclusion in the Ivy League, we buy shirts that not-so-subtly differentiate us from Penn State, and we bitch and moan every time Princeton gets a media mention and we don't.

Clearly, the real issue is that Penn students are extremely bright and successful, yet when they try to let commoners know just how great they are by tacitly mentioning Penn, they get blank stares instead of wide-eyed veneration. So we ask ourselves, what can Penn do to gain the national fame that our other Ivy peers seem to enjoy?

We could change the name!

To Ben Franklin University, not to be confused with Franklin and Marshall or the Franklin University in Ohio, which offers a bevy of online-degree options. I'm sure it'll work out perfectly well and lots of folks outside of academia will be just as keen to report on this as they were on Beaver College's name change to Arcadia University, which the once all-girls school made to spare itself from ridicule.

What, you didn't hear about Beaver?

But what then? Clearly, the simplest method to gain the national recognition our student body yearns for is a national ad campaign. It could be called "Penn, the Ivy League University ranked fifth nationally that you've never heard of!"

Buy a few spots on American Idol and during the World Series, and pretty soon the entire nation will know all about the University of Pennsylvania. Sure, it might cost a few million dollars and only make us look crass and desperate, but at least we'll get the recognition we so justly deserve.

But there's another option.

It won't require replacing all the signs on campus or spending millions on an ad campaign. This option would actually make money, generate school pride and fill Franklin Field every Saturday.

We should drop out of the Ivy League.

But not just for grins; by dropping out of the Ivy League, we would be free to offer sports scholarships.

Want to gain national notoriety? Leave the Ivies and you'll see Penn on the front page of every paper in the nation, the lead story on every cable news channel, and the Pardon the Interruption (especially Kornheiser) guys would go nuts.

With the right investment, our football and basketball programs would become national powerhouses within a decade. Soon, when you tell people where you go to school, and they reply, "Penn? Helluva football team you got there!" you wouldn't have to correct their mistake.

Imagine the tons of toast 50,000 Quaker fans could throw! More importantly, the two programs would become money makers for the University, which could be used to further improve the school.

Now, I understand that this might seem a bit rash. For many of you, Penn's inclusion in the Ivy League was a primary reason for enrolling here.

Lord knows, you would never want to go to Stanford. Heavens to Betsy, no. Not quite Ivy. Same goes for Duke or MIT.

For whatever reason, this sports conference moniker created in the '50s holds a magical sway over some of you - the ability to say "I go to an Ivy League school."

But what's the point of being Ivy League if no one knows it? We're already, for all intents and purposes, just a really great school that no one has heard of, another Washington University in St. Louis or University of Chicago.

Let's look again at Duke and Stanford, and while we're at it, Notre Dame and Georgetown. Without Notre Dame Football being Notre Dame Football, there could be no Rudy. These schools make millions annually from their teams and generate free advertising for the universities.

We'd still hold the most rigorous academic standards in the nation, and continue to expel student-athletes who couldn't maintain a 2.0. It wouldn't hurt our academics, only help our athletics.

I imagine this suggestion will rub people the wrong way. Ideally, Penn should start offering scholarships and dare the rest of the Evil Eight to do something about it. Rather than tossing us out, I'd bet they would join us.

And why not? At one point, Penn was home to the best football in the nation, and the Harvard-Yale game was more than just the world's largest congregation of pretentious assholes.

So let's drop out, and maybe we'll be higher than a 15 seed come next March.

Jim Saksa is a College senior from Philadelphia, Pa. His e-mail address is saksa@dailypennsylvanian.com. You, Sir, are an Idiot appears on Tuesdays.

Comments (24)

Good article and you make a good point. It's funny from the responses how Ivy league alums are more defensive than most would think. Tell a Princeton grad that USC, Illinois, Michigan and Berkeley have better engineering colleges and they can get surprisingly unhinged. But I digress... I really think Stanford gets more recognition by being the best school in the Pac 10 than it would by competing with similarly ranked schools in the Ivy League. I met a couple Penn alums that played football in the 60s or 70s that mentioned a possible athletic affiliation with the Big Ten. That probably could have happened back then, but the sports revenue, fan support and facility requirements would make it difficult today. You would have to dip into the endowment in a big way. On the plus side, clearly, an independent or Big Ten affiliated Penn would fair better than, for example, Rice. One other thing to consider is, what is the Ivy League? It's more a brand than anything. None of its member institutions draws any substantial benefit from being included in its ranks. Thus, leaving it for independence, Big Ten or the ACC is not a particularly big risk.

He's obviously attempting to be funny in this article, so I think it's sad that no one who has posted comments has picked up on that. And he's obviously not amusing at all, which is sad too.

How about changing the name to Pussy University?

I picked up on the attempt at humor. However, this isn't the April Fool's edition. If Saksa would like to be taken seriously, perhaps he shouldn't try comedy.

Dead on. Athletic Scholarships have not bogged down Stanford, Duke or many other rigorous universities. It would be beneficial to Penn. Jim Saksa may be the smartest columnist in the DP.

Penn students are OBNOXIOUS SNOBS (for the most part). Hence, they're the only ones who think they deserve more name recognition. You're as recognized as you deserve to be, which is LESS than the rest of the Ivy League schools, and for good reason. The caliber of the students, and the misguided professional agendae of the professors (someone mentioned Penn professors being mentioned regularly in the NY Times; this is because Penn professors prefer publicity to teaching and scholarship), when combined with the clusterf*ck of the general administration, create the perfect storm of a spoiled, self-righteous university whose students would be drowning in mediocrity without their ol' friend grade inflation.

[QUOTE id="9e16bdc6-631d-43fd-8d13-0b60b0bc8619"]Penn students are OBNOXIOUS SNOBS (for the most part). Hence, they're the only ones who think they deserve more name recognition. You're as recognized as you deserve to be, which is LESS than the rest of the Ivy League schools, and for good reason. The caliber of the students, and the misguided professional agendae of the professors (someone mentioned Penn professors being mentioned regularly in the NY Times; this is because Penn professors prefer publicity to teaching and scholarship), when combined with the clusterf*ck of the general administration, create the perfect storm of a spoiled, self-righteous university whose students would be drowning in mediocrity without their ol' friend grade inflation.[/QUOTE] wow. postal much?

saksa is morally bankrupt.

Jim: This opinion piece could use some real research. What do you want Penn's name to account for? Most employers on the east coast seem impressed with Penn educations regardless of the talent of the football team. Furthermore, there are dozens of scholarship program schools who get much less national recognition than Penn. Humor piece or not, this column does not come across well.

Jim, When I started reading I thought you were making a poor attempt at being funny, but I'm just dissappointed. 1. In the "real world" the people that confuse the Quakers with the Nittney Lions aren't looking to offer you a job. 2. Very few D1 schools make money from basketball or football, talk to anyone who has taken a Sports Law class to understand the economics behind that. 3. You have been given the opportunity to write for a paper read by many students, alumni and faculty, why don't you use the opportunity to say something. Don't flake out with another piece like this.

Now that Div.1-A can play Div. 1-AA football teams (as in... Appalachian State who got much notoriety for their Boone, NC campus) I think the athletic department should seriously look into scheduling Duke and Stanford. Especially Duke! This makes sense from the Duke/Stanford side Ð they like to link themselves to the Ivy League and they could use a possible win. Villanova played Maryland and held their own. Duke is no Maryland, nor is Stanford. Now that I think about this more we have to play Stanford! This would be great for Penn Alumni living in California (where a bunch of us are) Plus, what a smooth road trip - Napa Valley, Bay Area and a game against a big name opponent that would be a huge victory if we beat. That sounds fun and has all the great things that make an NCAA tourney basketball trip so cool. Plus the Bay Area beats Lexington, KY or Columbus, OH and I bet we win as often or more so against Duke in football than basketball. Maryland beat Villanova 31-14 and led 10-7 at the half. Meet you at the Wharf or Mondavi and boy that new Stanford stadium looks plush! GO QUAKERS

Saksa spelled backwards is Askas.

Duke sucks at football.

i really can't tell whether this is tongue and cheek or not. For the love of god, I hope it is.

What, has this become the annual 'What do we do about Penn's name recognition?' column?? As I stated in last September 22's DP, Penn must change its name as soon as possible. As Saksa also points out, the publicity generated would be enormous - but in the long run the negativity would wear off while the name recognition would remain. And yes, I was serious that Penn should consider selling its name to the highest acceptable bidder, to generate about $1 billion immediately. I do NOT believe we should drop out of the Ivies and offer Scholarships. Sincerely, Noam Y. Harel, GoogleU '92

What, is this the annual 'What do we do about Penn's name recognition?' column?? As I stated in last September 22's DP, Penn should change its name as soon as possible. As Saksa states, the publicity generated would be enormous - and in the long run, the negative effects would wear off, while the name recognition would remain. And yes, I was serious when I offered that Penn should even consider selling its name to the highest acceptable bidder. This would generate approximately $1 billion extra for our endowment. And no, I do not agree that we should drop out of the Ivies and offer scholarships. Sincerely, Noam Y. Harel, Google U. '92

You, Sir, are an Idiot. Let's assume your silly ideas about football were true. What if our investment in football turned out a crappy team. What then? I'd rather have a degree from a place with a reputation for solid academics than risk losing that reputation of a football scheme.

Worst. Plan. Ever.

This is so dumb. Penn is mentioned in the media all the time. Pick up the New York Times - I bet you there is at least one professor quoted every day in various articles from human psychology to homelessness. Don't care about people knowing your university - care about getting the most out of your education. And if you can't live with the fact that Penn is not in most people's daily repertoire, then leave. We don't want you.

I've traveled internationally a lot since graduating, and very rarely have I gotten blank stares when I say I went to Penn. A few times I've had to specify "No, the one in Philly" but for the most part, a large portion of the world is very aware of Penn and her academic contributions. Just because we don't get "Oh wow!!! Penn!!!" like people from Harvard might get, doesn't mean people don't know Penn is a good school. Actually, I'm glad I don't get responses like that. It's a lot to live up to.

Why can't some students and alumni accept Penn for what it is and stop with all of this nonsense? Penn should always be regarded for exactly what it is, a great university that offers a superior and rigorous education and research opportunities. Football and basketball are mere diversions. Stop and think about the consequences. If you've ever met a graduate from "State Tech" or whatever, all they've got to hang their hats on are the win-loss records of their teams. They become one-dimensional; all they talk about are the running back's ankle injury or the center's academic suspension. Embrace the fact that our alumni are much more multi-faceted and that the name of the school has little to do with that. We shouldn't aspire to that which we are not.

I thought it was pretty funny. Saksa brought up a pet peeve many of us face every day, and did it in a lighthearted manner. I don't see why everyone's going crazy over this. Keep it up, Jim, I'll be reading next week.

This article is great and witty too. Takin it to the Maxsa!!

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