Cassandra Tognoni | Taking chivalry back

Women should recognize physical gender inequalities, and not feel ashamed when asking to be walked home

· September 10, 2007, 5:00 am

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As I happily returned to Penn last week, I was not-so-happily faced with the realization that "going out" requires a little more caution than I'm used to back in suburbia.

All of us girls returning to Penn must now remember to congregate in groups when walking home at night. Guys at Penn can now, well, keep refusing to offer girls a walk home (unless, of course, they anticipate that being their last stop).

I don't want to make a sweeping generalization of men at Penn. I know there are gentlemen out there, but the few and far between exceptions in this case seem to prove the rule.

"Anything more than four blocks from a girl I don't know really well, is a pretty big effort, so I would try to find some other way for her to get home safe," said Engineering junior Sean Engles.

"Unless she's my girlfriend, I would pay for a cab or call 898-WALK, but I don't think it is my responsibility to physically accompany her to her doorstep," said Wharton senior C.H. James.

"If a girl asks me to walk her home, I will almost always do it. . I'd rather walk 8 blocks than have my friend get raped." said Jordan Grossman, College senior.

Most guys I talked to framed their answers in a sense of duty to the specific girl, which usually wasn't much unless she was a good friend or hot.

Even such gentlemen as Grossman made the distinction that he felt his duty was not as a guy to a girl, but rather a friend to a friend.

But guys don't deserve all the blame.

"I just feel guilty asking a guy friend to walk me home," said College junior Lisa Liang. "I just feel like a little girl asking. I should be able to protect myself."

Girls are not asking, guys are not offering, and hence the girls at Penn are left to walk home alone and face the dangers of "Killadelphia."

It seems that in both men and women's eyes, chivalry is somewhat of a dead practice.

No longer are men expected to "take care" of women. Indeed, ever since the women's liberation movement propagated the credo that women can do anything and everything men can do, it is almost taboo to suggest otherwise.

Of course, as a woman embarking on a career in a couple of years, this movement has opened up opportunities for me.

Few would disagree that in the workforce women should be considered equal to men. Intellectually, women are just as capable as men (no matter what Larry Summers says).

But physically, men and women are not equal; women are the weaker sex.

Of course, put Serena Williams up against half of my guy friends, and they will go running.

But generally speaking, a random guy selected will be stronger than a random woman (and personally speaking, a high-school boy's basketball game will be more entertaining to watch than the WNBA).

But why is that so hard for women to admit? Why must we insist that we are equal to men when we are clearly not?

The concept that women may be inferior to men in any aspect is so abhorrent to women that it's become anti-feminist to suggest that men can do a better job of protecting women than women themselves can.

Chivalry has become an unfortunate victim of feminism. The result: We're left to brave the streets of West Philly by ourselves.

So what do we do?

Let's take chivalry back.

Whether we like it or not, men and women are different; there are different burdens each has to bear.

A girl feeling guilty about having a guy walk her home at night is like a husband feeling guilty that his wife has to go through the pain of childbirth.

It's just the way it is.

And so to the girls of Penn: Of course we should use any means to protect ourselves; of course we should always try to find other girls to walk with us home.

But if we find ourselves in the position where we either have to walk home, or solicit a guy friend, ask with abandon, without guilt and without feeling 'weak.'

To the guys of Penn: Consider walking a girl home your duty like it used to be.

And stop being so lazy. Sure, it may be an "effort" to walk her home, but hey, it's a lot less of an effort than childbirth.

Cassandra Tognoni is a Wharton junior from Andover, Mass. Her e-mail is tognoni@dailypennsylvanian.com. Skirting the Norm appears on Mondays.

Comments (10)

Main Line

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Wow. This is truly horrendous. Now I see why the DP doesn't hire women columnists.

Jean

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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This was SO baaaad. Walking someone home...husbands,childbirth, Larry Summers, the WNBA, Serena Williams....? REALLY baaaad.

alum

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Grow up! There will not always be a guy to walk you home. Learn to take care of yourself and stop whining.

Lizzy

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Come on, this is an opinion piece...you're criticisms are being too harsh. And unlike the previous commentors (who I doubt currently go to Penn) this is a very real issue for all of us females on campus: West Philly's dangerous, us females frequently walk home alone when we shouldn't. Maybe her examples weren't the strongest, but the topic is legit.

current penn student

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Then maybe she, as well as other females, should take advantage of security features Penn already offers such as 898-WALK or 898-RIDE. Why is it okay for males to then have to put themselves at risk of being mugged, stabbed or shot? West Philly's just as dangerous for them, although they like to pretend it's not. And I'm a female too, so don't try saying that I don't know what it's like being a female currently at Penn.

penn student

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Lizzy should learn grammar. I doubt that SHE currently goes to penn. but if she does, wow. what kind of students are they letting in nowadays?

L.T.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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So the guy is supposed to walk you home and then walk back to his place by himself. And if someone comes up to the 2 of you with a gun, I guess he is supposed to throw himself in front of you. Plus, good luck with finding someone to do this now that you have said the Penn guys are lazy and rude.

College '09

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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The Daily Pennsylvanian "HIRES" its columnists? That's an intriguing assumption.

Amen!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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Sir Gawain would be proud... Well-written, well thought out, and very poignant comments as we all come back to school. Let's step it up boys, and besides, walking a girl back will often times result in more than just a hug goodbye...

EP

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm

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There are other ways to get home than a guy walking us. Why can't we girls call and pay for our own cabs? Or why can't we think ahead of time and admit that we need to walk home at a reasonable hour when there are plenty of other people out on the streets? We can also make use of the door to door shuttles and 898-walk- though I'm not sure how late you can call them. We women are not helpless. I agree that nice guys walk girls (whatever their relationship) home at night, and that this isn't practiced as often as it should be, but women at this stage in life should be thinking a lot more independently. We can take care of ourselves. We don't need to be physically strong to do so, either. Just have 5 bucks in your back pocket at night to take a cab home just in case you can't walk back with your friends. But, ladies, the buddy system really should be something we use- for our own safety and that of our friends. Mase is a wise investment, also. Keep it in your hand at night, not your purse. And remember, when a seemingly nice Penn guy that you met at a party or Smokes walks you home - you are still a female alone with a guy she barely knows on dark streets. Just don't be too trusting.

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