The Daily Pennsylvanian :: Jamie France | All-nighters: A survival guide

Note from the Editor: Upon investigating alleged plagiarism within Jamie France's column, she is no longer a member of the DP staff. The DP does not tolerate plagiarism in any form, and sincerely regrets the situation.

As my first year of college comes to an end and I look back on all that I've experienced - the ups, the downs, the good times and bad - I can't help but think to myself: My god, how many all-nighters did I pull?

I knew they would be inevitable. The trend of putting off schoolwork till after dinner, after a lengthy nap, and after The O.C. became more and more popular as my high school career progressed. And as all the glittering teen media would have it, all-nighters are supposed to happen in college. They're the ultimate college-work-ethic stereotype. But it wasn't until I sat here in deep reflection that I realized they're more than just a stereotype. They're a way of life.

As we stare into the face of death (aka final exam week), I've decided to devote my final column to that which has facilitated so many sleepless nights for college students near and far; that which will continue to be there for us through the ups, the downs, the good times and bad; and that which has been my personal savior:

Caffeine.

It has come to my attention that caffeine, after being viewed with suspicion for years, is starting to make a serious comeback. Word of its newfound health benefits has been circulating in newspapers and the Web for the past couple of weeks. Evidently, there's new proof that caffeine defends against diabetes, Parkinson's disease, asthma symptoms, post-workout soreness, and even hunger pangs.

So, in light of this most-welcomed revelation, I've decided to share with you the knowledge that could carry you through the rest of the semester. Cut it out and stick it on your fridge:

The top eight most popular and most effective sources of caffeine, with - as an added bonus - the fewest calories.

1. Diet Coke: The only diet, caffeinated beverage you can get in Van Pelt after Mark's Cafe closes, thanks to the 24-hour vending machine. A standard can contains 45 mg of caffeine, 0 calories, various flavorings and colorings, and not much else.

2. Water Joe: The perfect fix for the closet-caffeine addict. The only ingredients are artesian water and caffeine; no additives, no carbonation. I can't say I've tried it, nor does it sound very appealing, but a 16.9-oz. bottle contains 60 mg of caffeine and, as could be expected, 0 calories.

3. Red Bull: This shouldn't be surprising. An 8-oz. can provides you with 80 mg of caffeine and 110 calories. It contains carbonated water, artificial flavors and colors, some vitamin B, and loads of sugar. "Red Bull gives you wings!"

4. Tab Energy: The energized version of Coca-Cola's original low-calorie cola brand, TaB; however, it's not a cola product. Fashion Week Daily describes it as a "sweet and sour beverage" with a flavor "reminiscent of a liquid Jolly Rancher." A 10.5-oz. can contains 95 mg of caffeine and only 5 calories.

5. Enviga: The sparkling green tea that's "proven" to help you burn calories, yet somehow has sparked a mess of lawsuits and investigations of this very claim. Regardless, a 12-oz. can contains 100 mg of caffeine and 5 calories, plus 20 percent of the suggested daily value of calcium.

6. Rocket Chocolates: For the chocoholic in all of us, these candies have more boost than a standard cup of coffee. One piece of Rocket Chocolate contains 150 mg of caffeine and 70 calories. They come in flavors like mint, toffee latte, peanut butter and mocha latte, and they're individually wrapped so you can stash a few in your pocket.

7. Starbucks Coffee: My euphoria. Sure, it's commercialized and potentially even overrated, but the fact is there are two Starbucks on campus, one right next to the library, and their coffee will keep you awake. One tall (12-oz.) cup of plain coffee contains 280 mg of caffeine and 0 calories; of course the latter varies with what you add to your drink. Starbucks' brew averages twice the caffeine of a standard 8-oz. cup of coffee, so take advantage.

8. Spike Shooter: Desperate times call for desperate measures. I've personally never heard of it, but any 8.4-oz .can that can house 300 mg of caffeine without a single calorie has my approval. Note the label that reads, "Don't drink if under 18," and "Drink only half a can at a time."

I realize that columns about stimulants usually end with a disclaimer about not abusing them ... but who are we kidding?

Happy studying!

Jamie France is a College freshman from Plantation, Fla. Her e-mail address is france@dailypennsylvanian.com. La Petite Freshman appears on Fridays.

Comments (46)

Wow. Not one positive comment. You guys are vicious.

I can't wait until you're a senior and you do this column again about coke and methamphetamines.

At best, this is like someone writing a column about their favorite drinks. At worst, it's about as exciting as reading off the nutrition facts of a bunch of things to your readers in order to keep them awake in class . . . either way, bad column. Cezary

Heyy Jamie, learn to write, kk bye.

http://food.yahoo.com/blog/beautyeats/5654/9-top-caffeine-fixes Inanity is one thing, but plagiarism is quite another.

wow...you suck. seriously, go back to plantation. you give penn girls a bad name.

This really was taken straight from that yahoo article, even the suggestion to "stash a few in your pocket." The plagiarism aside, did the author not acknowledge the weight complex that exists on our campus in a previous article? Wouldn't one think that publishing an article that quotes calories on a number of items (and giving your vote to a nutritionally questionable drink in part for having "zero calories") contributes to this weight complex? It just strikes me as odd that the author can lament the weight complex at our university, while simultaneously implicitly and explicitly saying, 'stay away from those calories if you're going to consume caffeine.' (Note that regular cola didn't make the list).

This column is ridiculous. No big suprise there.

Are you kidding me? This girl copied another article and called it her column! I know the semester's over but Zoe Tillman needs to fire her and never let her name appear in the paper again. If the writer had turned this in for class she would be given an F and her transcript would have a note of her plagiarism. A total lack of ethics on the writer's part aside. This column sucks and is proof of why freshman have no business writing a column in the DP.

I'd be curious to see whether some of her past columns were plagiarized as well... Wouldn't surprise me if she stole ideas or entire columns from other people based on this eggregious case of plagiarism.

You forgot something from your list....

Zoe Tillman and Shawn Safvi should be fired for this...the support plaguirism and hate the mentally ill.

I have to agree with Steven Studio, Jamie forgot FUSION ENERGY from the list. I wonder by leaving it out, perhaps she convinced herself that this poor article was not "exactly" lifted from the other one. Come on, there's only 8 items here and 9 on the other one! DP really must do something about this! REALLY.

[QUOTE id="a865d006-5000-4415-a828-f3e2d361d316"]Zoe Tillman and Shawn Safvi should be fired for this...the support plaguirism and hate the mentally ill.[/QUOTE] ENOUGH ALREADY, DAN.

Shawn and Zoe, this girl needs to be fired NOW, and you need to issue an official apology before anyone else calls you out for this. Look at what's going on at some of the other Ivy newspapers. I've always been proud that the DP is above that, and this pathetic excuse for a journalist is putting that in jeopardy. Please, take care of this as soon as possible.

You could have at least changed the order in which you listed the drinks from the order on Yahoo. How lazy are you, Jamie?

[QUOTE id="a865d006-5000-4415-a828-f3e2d361d316"]Zoe Tillman and Shawn Safvi should be fired for this...the support plaguirism and hate the mentally ill.[/QUOTE] 1. How do you discern that they support plagiarism from this? I haven't heard any comments from them, and I'd expect something to be done about this very soon. Maybe you're just being biased against them. 2. Nobody hates the mentally ill. Not the DP, not 34th Street, not anybody at Penn. We all just hate you. And it's not because you're mentally ill, it's because you're a jackass.

I've always thought this girl was an idiot. Now I have proof. And to the people who replied to "Dan Berstein" - I don't think that's really him, just someone being sarcastic and pretending to be him. Anyway...

So according to that editors' note, Ms. France is now fired. The editors of the DP should be commended for their swift and decisive reaction to this. When this situation has arisen at other college papers in recent months, it always seemed that no action was taken until some other media source reported on it. Good job for handling a tough situation in the proper way. But make sure it doesn't happen again. An isolated incident in understandable. An epidemic (a la The Crimson's recent problems) would not be. And to Jamie France: Great way to start your career, embarrassing yourself and your newspaper. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?

PWNED! hey, I heard Wawa is hiring, maybe you can work there? just make sure you don't plagiarize on the job application. john

PWNED! hey I heard Wawa is hiring! just make sure you don't plagiarize on the job application. john

She remembered to put Red Bull and Enviga's proprietary comments in quotations, let's give credit where credit is due.

The author's facebook interests: "dancing, writing, psychology, big cities, complete randomness, coffee, long stories, real friends, saying what everyone else is thinking" (retrieved from upenn.facebook.com on 4/24/07) Perhaps "saying what everyone else is thinking" should be moved ahead of "writing."

Like, whatEVer! I'd like to see any of you try to, like, write using, like, your own,like original ideas and stuff.

Is all of this really necessary. Is it the intention of these posted comments to do emotional harm to this student. Everyone makes mistakes in their life. Do all of you really think you're perfect? Does trying to distroy a fellow Penn student make everyone feel better? I certainly hope not. I think the editors owe Jamie an apology for allowing this to go on for five days.