Joke Issue: Club tennis player performs okay in recent match

PENN PARK – In a development that sent waves through the rec league community, numerous media outlets reported that college junior and Penn club tennis athlete Blake Henson only played "okay"  in a recent match. quotes

Henson played an entire singles match at Penn Park Saturday morning, recording a personal best three aces. Midway through the second set, he showed an impressive burst of speed to retreat back to his baseline and return a lob. Unfortunately, Henson misjudged the hit and knocked it out of bounds several feet wide right.

“Honestly, I’m just pretty proud that I bothered to show up,” Henson said after the game, sweating profusely despite having barely exceeded a brisk jog at any point in the contest. “I live at 42nd and Spruce, so it was a long-ass walk to get here. I’m definitely gonna Uber back.”

Despite the respectable performance from Henson, his squad lost 5-2 to Drexel’s club team.

“None of us were really feeling it today, given that were all out late at a BYO last night,” Penn captain Shawn Johnson said. “It was definitely a grind.”

Henson, who estimates that he shows up to roughly half of the club’s games and practices, has emerged as a veteran leader in recent weeks due to his consistently passable play and decent off-the-court leadership.

“The young guys really look up to Blake,” Johnson said. “He’s a guy who goes out there and gives 60 to 70 percent effort on a somewhat consistent basis. He’s the type of player you really dream of getting to sign up for the team at the SAC fair.”

Though Henson is not expected to attend next weekend’s match at Villanova (as a matter of personal preference, he ‘doesn’t really do’ road games), he will likely be a factor during the Quakers’ April 12 home matchup with La Salle.

“I have a gut feeling I have a midterm or something that day, but if not, I’ll definitely try to be there,” Henson said in an address to his teammates. “I’ll let you fellas know sometime next week.”

For Johnson and the rest of the team, though, the only thing that truly counts is that Henson shows up for the match that really matters: the annual Philadelphia Regional Club Tennis Championship.

“Honestly, we just need him to be fresh for the PRCTC on April 16. That’s our Wimbledon, if you will,” Johnson said.

“Wait, that’s during Fling Weekend, isn’t it? Shit. I feel like that happens every year. Ugh.

“I guess we’ll have to withdraw.”

Editor’s Note: This article is part of The Daily Pennsylvanian’s annual joke issue. Read more about the history of joke issue here.

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