SUNY HARLEM: Columbia and Cornell to enter NY state university system

"We're very pleased to have these two fine Ivy League institutions as SUNY schools," proclaimed a beaming New York Gov. George Pataki. But Cornell President Frank Rhodes said former Gov. Mario Cuomo had more to do with the deal than Pataki. "Quite frankly, we needed the money," Rhodes said. "Governor Cuomo has a lot of connections in the, uh, money-making industry. He introduced us to one of his fine friends from the Italian community, and in return, we agreed to become a state school." The switch was well-received on both campuses. "I've waited all my life to be able to say that I'm connected with SUNY-Binghamton," Columbia junior Neil Kothari said. "This makes up for my getting rejected from there." But students at the SUNY schools are not enamored with the prospect of being associated with the two Ivies. "They're letting some school from Harlem in?" whined Binghamton student Kjell Varnsen. "And I hear the other one is the suicide capital of the world!" Only one part of the two universities will remain independent from the state's control; the Cornell School of Hotel Management has been so successful in recent years that it has no need of state funding. -- Alan Sepinwall

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.